Women’s Disposable Razors

5 stars

I don’t know if it was because of these razors or what, but they may have saved my marriage before it began!

About a year and a half ago, my fiancé and I got engaged. Because of how expensive weddings are, we cut our budget here and there. A few examples include making coffee at home, take-out only once a month, and I switched to men’s disposable razors. Women’s razors are around 11% more expensive than men’s, so each week the switch has saved us a fortune. So much, in fact, that I also started using men’s deodorant, shampoo and conditioner, underwear, socks, you name it. Our wedding is practically paid for because of this. My fiancé has not been thrilled; he claims that I am too manly and emasculate him now. This came to a peak when I out-drank him in a keg stand at our friend’s bonfire. Due to this incident. he bought me a 25-pack of these Women’s Disposable Razors.

Needless to say, I was furious when I saw the floral pink package sitting on the kitchen table. I listened to my fiancé lecture me that I need to be more feminine and that there was nothing wrong with acting like the gender I am. After all, women have it easy. While he droned on, I plotted my revenge. In the middle of the night, I dusted off my makeup kit and hid all the men’s razors, and replaced them with these razors that he got me. In the morning, my fiancé was forced to use the Women’s Disposable Razors to shave his face. He came down to breakfast mad, with cuts all over his face. I told him he looked pretty, gave him his honey-do list, and left for the day

According to my fiancé, the following things happened to him that day and he blames the Women’s Disposable Razors: got catcalled while he was walking to his car, was given unsolicited advice at the gym about his form, and was told to shave his legs because they were disgusting, told he would pretty if he smiled while getting coffee at the coffee shop, had the mechanic try to tell him that his blinker fluid needed to be replaced when he brought the car in for an oil change, and – for me the cherry on top – paid more for all of his shopping products at the store. He came home, threw these razors, told me it didn’t matter what products I used, and hasn’t said another word about it.

If I could, I would give 10 stars to these crappy razors.

Caitlyn Sanow graduated from SMSU in 2017 with a B.A. in English. Currently, she is working as a Circulation Supervisor in a university library, and runs a writing group and workshop called Shitty First Draft.